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Mr. Grieves #154

Scott Semegran
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Section: Mr. Grieves -
Mr. Grieves Cartoons
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A message from Dick Stiffman, V.P. of Customer Relations at B.P. Hello, America. This is Dick saying hola from B.P. We're as concerned as you about the oil spill in the Gulf... Or as we like to call it, the oil thingy. In fact, we may be MORE concerned than anyone. I'd like to personally chastise anyone who thinks we don't care about the environment. Shame on you! We love the goddamn delicious shrimp in the Gulf. And the goddamn sea creatures, those goofy bastards tug at our heart strings. We love all the alien beasts in the sea. And who can forget the sea turtles. Those crusty bastards deserve to live another 100 years. Since we obviously can't stop this dilemma ourselves, we've decided to let YOU tell us how to fix it. After 10 minutes of intensive cold calling, we chose Wilbur from Mobile, whose idea was pure genius. I told B.P. that my old lady's tampons clog up my toilet real good. Some bitch is clogged now. So B.P. used all its resources to build the world's largest tampon to be inserted into the oil thingy. And by golly, we hope Wilbur is right. Frankly, we got nothing else if this doesn't work. This is Dick saying Buenos Noches from B.P. And Godspeed to the goddamn delicious shrimp.

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Last Updated on Thursday, 27 October 2011 05:27

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