I was farting around on Twitter yesterday, something I'm prone to do when I have writer's block or I'm bored. I came across this wonderful tweet that read: #amWriting: How not to handle bad reviews http://ow.ly/4pqnR @40kBooks. This link led me to a blog post that was subtitled "Self-published author Jacqueline Howett's online meltdown after a poor review quickly went viral, proving the internet has finally removed the line in the sand between reviewers and authors." Having been the victim of bad reviews as well as rejections from literary agents and publishers, this was immediately VERY intriguing to me so I read on. The blog post explained not only Howett's train wreck of inappropriate, unprofessional responses to her book review in the comments section and subsequent responses from internet trolls but also several other online disasters created by established authors. In terms of the literary world, this is almost as salacious to readers as TMZ exploits of celebrities is to TV viewers. Well, not really. But public displays of personal meltdowns always, ALWAYS get people's attention. Why? Come on, you know why. Everyone loves a train wreck. Believe it or not, it makes us feel better about ourselves.
Before I go on about Howett's disaster, I first must admit that I have received several bad reviews for the stuff I have published in addition to several excellent reviews as well. The good always comes with the bad. I have also received hundreds of rejection letters from literary agents. Hundreds! I used to keep them in a shoe box and secretly thought that one day, after mounds of success selling my books, I would return them to whom they originally came with a personal note from yours truly saying, "Now you have fucked up!" I later realized, after several moves between residences, that I was a moron for lugging these negative letters around. One day, after a good spring cleaning, I decided to throw them away and felt the burden of keeping these rejection letters vanish instantly. I have also received dozens of rejection letters from editors and publishers and art directors from various newspapers, magazines, literary journals, and publishing houses. But, and this is an important but, these rejection letters and bad reviews are all a part of the process of becoming a writer. Your literary output will not be everyone's cup of tea (to quote Howett!) just as your own personal taste does not align with others in your social circle. I realized this years ago when talking to a friend about a negative review I had received. After pouring my heart out, he asked me, "Do you like the group N Sync?" I said, "Hell no!" My friend went on to explain (this is so clear to me now) how everyone has an opinion about something and a reviewer was no different than anyone else. "They are just publishing their opinions," he said. So true, my friend, so true. But I also know for every 10 rejection letters I've received, I've also received at least one very positive letter requesting my permission to include my work in their publication. Yeah!
Now, let's focus, which brings me back to Howett. I followed the link in the blog post to the web site containing the review for her book. The reviewer starts off by saying that the story is "compelling and interesting" (not bad, not bad) but that the book is filled with so many typos and grammatical errors that it renders the book unreadable. He states that the errors "come so quickly that... it’s difficult to get into the book without being jarred back to reality as you attempt unraveling what the author meant." Oof! The reviewer ultimately gives the book 2 stars because of "Numerous proofing, typo, and grammar issues." The scorned author is the first to comment on the review by saying:
You obviously didn't read the second clean copy I requested you download that was also reformatted, so this is a very unfair review. My Amazon readers/reviewers give it 5 stars and 4 stars and they say they really enjoyed The Greek Seaman and thought it was well written. Maybe its just my style and being English is what you don't get. Sorry it wasn't your cup of tea, but I think I will stick to my five star and four star reviews thanks.
She then follows this by copying positive reviews from Amazon and pasting them as comments to this bad review. To which the first reply from an anonymous reader states:
Wow...you blame the reviewer for not going and getting a different copy, dismiss his review, then post three more reviews from various places? Uh, can we say petty? The professionalism here is just astounding.
The reviewer soon defends his review by giving examples of sentences from her book, which are clunky and grammatically incorrect. But (and I have to give him credit for saying this) he tells his readers, "I would encourage anyone who thinks the story sounds interesting to sample the book. Read the first few chapters and decide for yourself." Wow, now that's a professional response. But it doesn't stop there. This is where it gets good and disastrous. A few days later, Howett unprofessionally responds (This is posted here verbatim. Read it all because it's priceless.):
My writing is just fine!
You did not download the fresh copy.... you did not. No way!
As to annoymous
Al was given the option of a free copy from smashwords the following day to download in any format he preffered.
Look AL, I'm not in the mood for playing snake with you, what I read above has no flaws. My writing is fine. You were told to download a new copy for format problems the very next day while they were free at Smashwords, so you could choose any format you wanted to read it in and if their were any spelling mistakes they were corrected. Simply remove this review as it is in error with you not downloading the fresh copy i insisted. Why review my book after being told to do this, and more annoying why have you never ever responded to any of my e-mails?
And please follow up now from e-mail.
This is not only discusting and unprofessional on your part, but you really don't fool me AL.
Who are you any way? Really who are you?
What do we know about you?
You never downloaded another copy you liar!
You never ever returned to me an e-mail
Besides if you want to throw crap at authors you should first ask their permission if they want it stuck up on the internet via e-mail. That debate is high among authors.
Your the target not me!
Now get this review off here!
With this one comment, Howett validates (knowingly or not) what the review is most concerned with in the first place: bad grammar and typos. Her comment is filled with them and it's only a paltry 246 words. Now imagine how many grammatical errors and typos are in a book she published that contains approximately "55-60,000 words." Crazy! Once she posts this comment, the internet trolls climb out from under their rocks and weigh in on the dialog between the author and the reviewer. The gloves are pulled off and the proverbial punches fly! Wheee!!! Hatred for the author is proclaimed. Revolt from buying her books is encouraged. All of which leads Howett to finally respond to everyone by saying:
Fuck off!
It's easy to jump on this bandwagon and anonymously weigh in or fearlessly respond impersonally from your computer thousands of miles away from the original perpetrators who started this whole mess. Let's see, what cliché should I put in here? "Like shooting fish in a barrel." Whatever. Once the internet trolls got a hold of this and it went viral (that's how I came across it), it became a nightmare for Howett. Damn the search engines because this now will be permanently entrenched in internet-land FOREVER! Oopsie.
I really feel sorry for Howett. I really do. If there is anybody in this train wreck that I relate to most, it's her, mainly because I know what it's like to pour my heart and creative energies into 60,000 words and feel the compulsion to publish them for the world to read. Why would I do that? I'm a writer! I'm currently 21,000 words into a new novel about good ol' Simon Burchwood (I've gotten some great reviews for the first book, some of which point out formatting errors. Damn it!). I can't wait to finish it and release it to the world! Deep down, all we authors really want to do is inspire our readers with our creativity. And in some ways, book reviews are the tangible response to that creativity. A bad review can hurt but do they really matter? What was it my friend said? Oh yeah. "They are just publishing their opinions." Their opinion. Their opinion.
From my experience with writing and publishing, after several bad reviews and hundreds of rejection letters, I have become indifferent to reviews and rejection letters. To be honest, a great review can make my day and a bad one can ruin my day. But in the end, I know deep down inside that I don't write for book reviewers and it's just one day in my life as a writer. Move on! I know that I don't write for most people in this world. I write for a select few of my personal friends that truly know who I am and what I'm made of and what my sense of humor is about. If I can make them laugh or cry or respond to my words in the way that I intended, then I know I accomplished what I was originally trying to do. That is my goal with my writing. That is a lot of writers' goals with their own writing. If I get a good review, then that's cake. If I make a few dollars doing something that I truly love, then that's the icing. If I make other people that I don't know happy after reading my work, then BINGO! What more can I say?
I can say this.
Ms. Howett, take this incident in stride, forget about it, and get back to writing. When you finish your next book, hire a proofreader (it will be so worth it!) and don't let the excitement you have for your work get ahead of you. The first step in being a professional anything is realizing what you are good at. Stick with what you are good at and hire people to help with what you are not good at. It's as easy as pie. I'm almost finished. As for the internet trolls, I would like to paraphrase Ms. Howett and her wounded creative soul:
Fuck off!
I had to get that off my chest. Carry on!
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