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The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood, by Scott Semegran is a completely different style book. It has a unique voice and I gave it 4 1/2 stars on my review.

Plot/Storyline: 4 1/2 Stars

This novel tells the story of a man on a trip to New York to promote his soon to be published first novel. He takes a small detour to visit an old Junior High friend. The entire story is about this trip and the people he meets on the way.

The book is told entirely from Simon’s viewpoint. Simon is not a very likeable guy; as a matter of fact, he is a self-centered, pompous jerk. But for some reason, it’s pretty fun to be inside his head, mainly because he is an inadvertent, oblivious jerk.

The storyline does go off on tangents now and then, but they are fairly short ones. In these, you will learn Simon’s views on smoking, cleanliness and going to the bathroom, just to name a few. There were times that I laughed out loud.

Simon has an opinion of each and every person that he runs across, even tangentially. Even when he kind of likes someone, he finds reasons to dislike them. His opinions are mercurial depending on events in a particular moment.

The ending was not well told. I would have rather had more explanation. Although, you can extrapolate what happened, I like my ends tied up a little more neatly. It was almost more like you would end a short story rather than a long novel.

Character Development: 5 Stars

Simon’s character was the only well developed personality in the book. That’s as it should be as it was told solely from his viewpoint. The author never ‘cheated’ so that Simon or the reader knew more than what Simon should have. The author did a terrific job of painting Simon. He was predictable only in that the reader gets to know him so well.

Writing Style: 4 1/2 Stars

This author has an interesting voice in that you feel like you are listening to Simon’s every thought. Even though he’s mostly just a regular guy, his thoughts run rampant in all directions, never leaving the reader bored.

There was a particular quirk that was annoying: the repeated usage of “what” surrounded by commas. Sentences like the following were scattered throughout:

I enjoyed this book, what, like you’ve never enjoyed a book?

I don’t know if the issue was the punctuation or just the interjection, but it was distracting.

Editing/Formatting: 4 1/2 Stars

The editing could have been better as there were a few instances of missing punctuation and a missing article, like ‘the’ or ‘an’. However, they were not so numerous as to spoil the reading experience.

The Kindle formatting also suffered a bit with no line or page breaks between chapters. You might see a number at the end of a sentence, with the next line being the beginning of the next chapter.

Overall: A very good novel that was humorous throughout.

Rating: R for language. This book is filled with bad language. I seriously doubt there are many pages without at least one cuss word.
———————
I have noticed on Amazon many reviewers who give very harsh reviews for books that have bad language in them. I generally disagree with them. Personally, I do not cuss very much at all, and, when I do, it is very mild. However, I do not mind it in books and movies when it is necessary for honesty in the tale.

This book is mostly comprised of the thoughts of a grown man. I think that many, many people cuss in their thoughts, even if they don’t say the words out loud. As a matter of fact, Simon actually avoids cussing out loud. He also espouses the viewpoint that people shouldn’t cuss in front of their children. Like all of us, though, his thoughts are very different from what comes out of his mouth.

Could the writer have left out all of the bad language? Possibly. But the integrity of the work would have been lost. The voice would not have been nearly as powerful.

Originally posted by Red Adept Reviews on August 20, 2009

 


 

The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood - 5 Stars

 

Why anyone would care about Simon Burchwood’s meteoric rise I’m not sure, but I certainly did. I couldn’t stop turning the pages to find out what amazing, stupid, or appalling thing Simon might do next. It’s true, as Simon, our narrator, says time after time in his memoir, The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood.

Simon has always wanted to be a famous writer – not just a writer, but a famous one – yet fate has him working a dull job at TechForce, in Austin, Texas. Actually, he does as little for his employer as possible, preferring to use his company computer to work on his great novel, It’s true.

Simon is not an appealing man—not in appearance as he describes himself, not in his personality, and not in his behavior. Yet we are hooked on his adventures and what comes out of his mouth.

He is supposed to be flying to New York to read a passage from his soon-to-be-published novel, The Rise and Fall of a Titan, at Barnes & Noble’s flagship store, but he stops off in his hometown of Montgomery, Alabama, to visit his best friend, Jason, whom he hasn’t seen since he was 16. They have stayed in touch through, amazingly enough, letters.

Some of the best scenes in the book come when Simon interacts with strangers. He inevitably starts out thinking a person is nice, clever, a genius even, then ends up hating them—all in one short encounter.

As an example, here’s part of his encounter with an airport bartender:

Bartender: “That drink’s on the house," he said, pointing to my cocktail.

Simon: “Thank you for your generosity." Can you fucking believe it? Wow, he was a professional, a real topnotch bartender. I have known many bartenders in my time but he was one of the slickest.”

And later in the conversation:

Bartender: “Being that I work in an airport, I meet lots of famous types. Singers, actors, politicians, reporters, disc jockeys, athletes, porn stars, you name it. But I ain't never met no writer before. Come to think of it, I don't even know what writers look like.”

Simon: "That's a shame. Writers should be like rock stars in our society. They should be revered," I said. And I meant it too.

Bartender: "That's funny. That's like saying everyone should recognize chess masters or cyclists or physicists or inventors. Nobody cares about writers just like nobody cares about those other types. No offense."

Simon: "None taken." Actually, that really pissed me off. I mean, who the fuck did he think he was anyway? I was the one with a publishing deal. He was stuck in an airport bar serving swill to his high-class clientele, the nose-picking barflies.”

And his encounters continue with his about-faces: the ticket agent, the flight attendant, a friend from high school, Jason’s wife, the girl he had a crush on in high school; not even Jason escapes his excoriation. It’s true.
And did I mention that he was cheap and a shameless self-promoter? For example, he passes out his business card to just about everyone he runs into and tells them: " . . . you can leave me a tip by going to my web site at www.simonburchwood.com and clicking the Submit button on the gratuity web page." He takes all major credit cards. It’s true.

Simon is such a character that I couldn’t wait to find what he did next.
But I wasn’t at all prepared for the surprising conclusion.
It’s true.
Click here to link to The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood.

Davilynn Furlow

Originally posted by Great Books for Under $5 on March 21, 2011

 


The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood- 4 Stars

My Review:

This book cracked me up! Simon Burchwood is the author of the soon to be published novel THE RISE AND FALL OF A TITAN. He's crude, arrogant, and well just a jerk. He loves to shamelessly self promote and hands anyone, and I mean anyone, his flashy business card. While traveling to New York to do a reading of his new novel at a Barnes and Noble, he decides to take a quick stop in good ole' Montgomery, Alabama. The town of his childhood. Simon quickly realizes that this may not have been the best idea, and that his literary success may be in jeopardy.

Overall a very good and funny read. The only draw back I had was the over usage of vulgarities.

My Rating:
A nice birthday cake (4 Stars)

Originally posted by Ashton the Book Blogger April 25, 2011


Amusing, psychological ride into Simon's head! 5 Stars

This review is from: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood (Paperback)
This book cracked me up. I would think about Simon during the day and wonder what was WRONG with him, or ...was I like that !?..., or was he just one of those slightly paranoid, brilliant types. The main character (Simon) grew on me by the second chapter. Very entertaining to read. You won't be disappointed! I wish the book was longer.

By N. Rocz - Amazon Book Review
Originally posted June 25, 2009


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood by Scott Semegran - 3 Stars

Charlie's Review:

Simon Burchwood is a narcissistic, wannabe writer. He arrogantly flashes his business cards, and tactlessly navigates through life thinking only of his own comfort, and self promotion. Simon meets many interesting characters along his way, and finds himself in various uncomfortable encounters. None of these situations lends to him breaking from his self-centered ways.

The actual story was humorous, and the character of Simon, while not especially likable, drew you like a car accident might. You just could not help but wonder what he would do next. Mr. Semegran treats you to a surreal journey that doesn't quite end up where you might think.

Unfortunately, what seemed to stand out most to me from this book was the excessive use of vulgarities. Not a paragraph seemed to pass that did not contain profanity. I did not find it enjoyable to stumble repeatedly over this language, and it cheapened the entire reading experience for me. I would only recommend this book to those who are not easily offended by profanity.

Originally posted by Literary R&R April 18, 2011


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood - 4 Stars

On his way to New York to celebrate his impending literary success, Simon Burchwood is the prototypical American careerist. But a quick detour to Montgomery, Alabama to visit a childhood friend sends Simon on a bizarre journey, challenging his hopes and dreams of becoming a famous writer. This is a character study that delves into the psyche of a man who desperately tries to redefine himself. Is Simon pompous? Yes. A jerk? Yes. Will you like him? Absolutely!

Review: Simon is like most of us, he wants to be someone someday. Also like most of us, he can't help but constantly judge, assume, hypothesize, condemn, envy and pity (just to list a few) people of the world. You're probably judging me right now thinking who does she think she is accusing me of such things? I think I am the all seeing, all knowing writer of this review! Forgive me I digress! Simon Burchwood is a reflective character that forces a reader to look at the shameful, dirty parts of our humanity. Can he help who he is? No more than any of us can. His perception is comical and ironic as well as sadly maddening because of its truth. Perhaps, not our truth, but nevertheless the truth according to Simon Burchwood's world and just in case you doubt what he says, he'll kindly punctuate the wisdom he shares with a 'it's true.' This is key because near the beginning the reader is told this is a dream and that we're not to forget – but you can't help but forget. It's debatable and when the 'dream' plot is used well (which it is) it can be thematically complicated in a mind melt sort of way. In addition, there is plenty of evidence peppered throughout the story to support one way of thinking or another. I particularly zoned in on the possibility of dream symbolism and how it could be analyzed and applied to what was happening in Simon's life. Is any of it real or is Simon's journey to the Barnes & Noble flagship store in New York just a really messed up fantasy?

Originally posted by Bitsy Bling Books May 5, 2011


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood - 3 1/2 Stars

Verdict: An ambitious, enjoyable read with a superb ending that changed my interpretation of the entire text.

Simon Burchwood is a hard-bitten, wannabe novelist teetering on the brink of literary stardom. Yet a brief sojourn in Montgomery, Alabama challenges his haughty façade–and the "meteoric rise" that has continually eluded him.

Sure, Burchwood is egocentric–despicable, even. Admittedly, his lengthy monologues often irritate more than intrigue, crippling the novel's weightier themes. Yet his ill-fated journey, while occasionally long-winded, is strangely captivating.

Semegran's tragic cast of characters struggle to confront disappointing realities: the impossibly optimistic Jason fights to salvage what's left of his disintegrating marriage, while Patty Green–Burchwood's childhood flame– scrambles to make ends meet as a stripper at "Cinnamon's Big Boobie Bonanza." Even Burchwood himself–trekking from Montgomery, Alabama to New York, New York–ultimately discards his delusions of grandeur to find his dreams in shambles.

"The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood" weaves a heartrending portrait of lowered expectation: of a man eschewing, and ultimately embracing, mediocrity. Semegran deftly unmasks the divide between adolescent expectations and adult realities, and does so using Burchwood's crass, profanity-laden commentary–though at times readers will crave a little less Simon, and a little more everyone else.

Reviewed by Sonia Tsuruoka

Originally posted by IndieReader.com May 26, 2011


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood - 4 Stars

This funny picaresque novel features the insight-challenged Simon Burchwood, off on a quest for fame and fortune as a great writer, making his journey from Texas to a reading of his début novel at the flagship Barnes and Noble store in New York City by way of Montgomery AL, where his boyhood friend Jason signs on as his Sancho Panza. Simon is a fine example of a "you spot it, you got it" personality type, exceedingly critical of everyone he meets, tilting at windmills that have his own name painted on them. Semegran manages a first-person narrative that is simultaneously derogatory, clueless, and energetic. Simon is constantly launching into little asides, some of which make one want to scream "TMI!" His meanderings will remind birders of the song of the house finch, which emits a long trail of descending, insistent-sounding notes, finishing with a querulous, whiny three-note ascending and descending phrase at the end; Simon's songs always end with the assertion "It's true!" He's a stingy tipper to boot; this is tolerated somewhat better in Montgomery than in NYC.

The action picks up substantially during his time in Montgomery, where he runs into old acquaintances and revives his assorted petty grudges against them that had been dormant for years, refreshing his relationships with people as what I think people nowadays call their "frenemy." He disparages Jason's slovenly lifestyle and makes fun of his old car, calling it a "turd-on wheels." The reader will tightly grip an imaginary steering wheel while Simon, often half in the bag, rides around the dark Alabama streets in Jason's other car, his father's lovingly restored 1967 Mustang.

As Simon readies for the New York leg of his trip, the cracks in Jason's marriage become visible to him, and, at Simon's insistence, Jason comes along for the ride, even though he has declared to Simon that "Everything was fine until you came into town. That's when everything started to fall apart."

The New York segment is played for slightly more broad comedy, a two-hicks-in-the-big-city farce. The two men arrange with a sleazy bellman to stage a "practice" reading of Simon's book (always referred to in caps: "THE RISE AND FALL OF A TITAN," based on the illegal shenanigans of Simon's detested boss), inviting off-duty hotel employees and sending up a keg. Simon clutches and manages to read the first paragraph only; then the drinking and partying begin. Our hero does manage a few moments of empathy, both in dealing with Jason and with a menacing breakfast chef. Does this suggest that, all other evidence aside, his book may be good? Is he capable of change, or will he remain a legend in his own mind?

The writing is very clever. The only problem I had was with Semegran's usage of "low and behold," instead of "lo and behold," and a few typos. Read this book, and feel yourself clutching the wheel of the Mustang as Simon careens through the streets and reaching for your wallet as he prepares to dole out another miserly tip.

Review by Libby Cone

Originally posted by The New Podler Review of Books June 29, 2011


Review: Modicum - 5 Stars

Hold on let me clean my pants...Ok Ok now on with the review. This is going to be about the funniest book you shall read in a long time. I warn you do not drink, eat or wait to relieve you bladder prior to reading. You will walk through the hilarity that is Modicum. So click the buy now and prepare to laugh all the way to the last page!

Review by Albert Robbins

Originally posted by Free Book Reviews on July 2, 2011


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood - 5 Stars

In the mind of the main character you get to experience the laughable side of a jerk. This book will have you rolling in laughter at a man who can not or will not realize who and what he is. Non stop laugh beginning to end.

Review by Albert Robbins

Originally posted by Free Book Reviews on July 2, 2011


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood

My Thoughts

Simon Burchwood is a character that I feel everyone can relate to. He just wants to be somebody and is envious of other people when they get to be somebody. He is also a reflective character that allows the reader to look at the darker aspects of humanity that is within us all. I think this will help all kinds of readers to relate to the character of Simon.

The novel was well thought out and all the characters that came into contact with Simon all have a role to play. This novel did have me in fits of laughter at times and this is something I haven't experiences in a while with a novel.

Overall a funny read and I would recommend this book.

Originally posted by Every Book Has a Soul on July 6, 2011


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood - 4 Stars

Simon Burchwood is unlikable but unfailingly honest. He will reflect all of our very worst moments and make you cringe to admit the creeping familiarity. His journey from Austin to New York via a visit to his old friend in Montgomery is full of bizarre happenings that make you question your narrator until giving up and just going with it.

Why you'll like it: Strong, funny, and very well executed.

Why you won't: The knowing voice of the author can come through a little too much at times. The irritating ticks of Simon Burchwood will drive you mad but that's a testament to the good writing. "It's true."

Originally posted by Book Stack Reviews on Oct 30, 2011


Review: The Spectacular Simon Burchwood - 3 Stars

This is my first encounter with Scott Semegran and the second book in the series about Simon Burchwood (although this book can be read as a stand alone which is what I have done). Simon is going through a tough time, working in a job to get by whilst struggling to become Americas next big thing in the author world, his personal life doesn't seem to be able to get any worse. However his ex wife drops a bombshell on him sparking off a roadtrip with an unlikely companion and with life changing consequences.

For the first part of this book I totally loved it and after reading the cat scene (I had tears pouring down my face with laughter), I was set to give a 5 star rating. The author is quite funny and some of the quips are great (although there is a bit of swearing so not for the easily offended!). Simon can be hillarious and great to read about in his recaps and memories. However the massive over use at the end of every handful of sentences of "its true" and the word goddam appearing so many times and in such repartition really did put me off.

The story itself is quite entertaining (and in some places laugh out loud) and like I said I really had enjoyed it but even in really popular reads, words or phrases being repeated that often will detract my enjoyment so much that it does effect the overall rating and reading experience.

Thank you to the author for sending me this book and introducing me to his work, I may well try one of his other books. 3/5 this time for me.

Originally posted by So Many Books, So Little Time on 11/1/2011


Review: The Spectacular Simon Burchwood - 4 Stars

Simon Burchwood raises his balding pate again in another picaresque tale by Scott Semegran. This time, he is unemployed and newly divorced. After landing a job as a help-desk guy in a government office, he finds out that his ex-wife has abruptly moved with the kids from Austin, where Simon lives, to Dallas, several hundred miles away. Our hero is devastated; he truly loves his kids, and will do anything to get them back so that he can at least see them according to the custody schedule. As in Semegran's previous book, The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood, he cannot do this alone. Rather, he accepts the help of a guy he barely knows from his brand new job, a guy with horrible teeth and questionable personal hygiene, whom Simon calls Snaggle. They set off in a rented Caddy. Snaggle wants to play Slug Bug as they drive, while Simon wants to do MadLibs, so they agree on silence. Is it my imagination, or am I detecting tiny infrequent bursts of empathy on Simon's part, feeling sorry for the socially inept Snaggle, being a bit more understanding of the various transportation and lodging personnel they encounter? Although Simon's pretensions to being a writer are relatively ludicrous, his pretensions toward being a better communicator and accepting quirks in others, which on the surface may just seem part of the writerly image to him, are actually becoming part of him in a deeper way. He and his aromatic acquaintance barrel along the highway, soon picking up more assistance in the guise of Gina, a multi-pierced Goth student from Oklahoma, looking for a lift to Norman. Of course, Simon had given his new boss, as well as Snaggle and Gina, the explanation that his grandmother had just died, and they are going to her funeral. He ruminates from time to time about this fib. Complications ensue, and they eventually go through Dallas and on to Oklahoma, where more complications ensue. But Simon is starting to understand something, and his luck literally changes. Semegran handles this quite deftly; even though Simon keeps warbling his “It's true!” declarations at a great rate, the reader does not tire of them, because, well, some of them ARE true, and we see the progress he is making in getting a grasp of what life is about, albeit in his own ham-fisted way.

Originally posted by The New Podler Review of Books November 27, 2011


Review: Boys - 3 Stars

The collection opens with Wiliam's story, "The Great and Powerful, Brave Raideen". It's a short story with a predictable plot element, but it's nicely done. The characters are honestly portrayed; the dialogue genuine. It demonstrates the dual fickle-forgiving nature of children and the power of play.

Sam's story, "Good Night, Jerk Face", comes next. It's a novelette that ends rather abruptly. Semegran builds up the tension between Sam and his parents over Sam's desire to buy the car of his dreams, but it just fizzles out. There's also the potential for conflict between Sam and his boss over the restaurant's delivery van, but that too gets shrugged off. The title of this story implies some kind of confrontation. While Semegran explains who says it, we never find out why. To his credit, Semegran does a good job at capturing adolescent anxiety—learning how to drive, talking to girls, working menial jobs.

The remainder and bulk of the book is "The Discarded Feast". Seff and his roommate, Alfonso, work at a chain restaurant barely getting by on their meager earnings. The story covers their adventures at work and outside of it. A good deal of their free time is spent smoking cigarettes, drinking cheap beer, and wondering if they'll be able to come up with the money for next month's rent. If it were a movie, it could serve in a double feature with Waiting, but the characters are far more realistic.

This isn't so much a story you get wrapped up in for plot; the events pertaining to the story's title make up a fraction of the content. Rather, you tune in for the characters. Everyone has a story, and the people that Seff meets tell him their stories. Some are more interesting than others. I get the feeling that these are people that Semegran met when he was Seff's age, and he felt compelled to honor them by relating their stories here.

Boys is a collection of stories that reads more like a fictionalized memoir. It would've benefited from a run through by an editor to draw a bit more focus in content and to clean up the grammatical mistakes (mostly comma usage). Semegran gets points for realistic characters even if the book falls short on the storytelling.

Originally posted by The New Podler Review of Books September 28, 2015


Review: The Meteoric Rise of Simon Burchwood

An author bathing in the glory of publishing his debut novel heads to New York for his first book signing.

Simon Burchwood considers himself to be a writer at the pinnacle of his art. He believes that he has achieved recognition and fame, which, for him, are the most important accolades a man in his profession could think to achieve. Semegran’s (The Discarded Feast, 2017, etc.) novel opens with a boast: “I have become wildly more successful than I ever could have dreamed.” Simon is keen to share this assertion, and does so with everyone he meets. The truth is Simon appears to be a small-time author with a massively overinflated sense of self-importance who is on the cusp of publishing his first novel. The story charts his journey to New York, where he is to give a reading at a flagship bookstore, but first he will pay a visit to his hometown of Montgomery, Alabama, in a bid to catch up with his childhood friend Jason. Seeing the streets where he grew up stirs up a cocktail of emotions, from mawkishness to disgust. Simon encounters his childhood sweetheart working in a strip joint, and realizes he still bears a resentment toward the kid who stole his prized Spider-Man comic. Yet he also knows that as a writer he is above small-town life, heading to New York with Jason, despite the fact he views him disparagingly as a “goddamn pig.” In Simon, the author has created a psychologically complex character that is difficult to like or tolerate. Written in the first person, Simon’s narrative is consistently abrasive and repetitive: “I gobbled up my second omelet as quickly as the first, and found myself licking my goddamn fingers and smacking my goddamn lips and scraping the edge of my goddamn plate with my fork like a goddamn heathen.” Semegran seems to channel Charles Bukowski’s muscular style but delivers a tired, ersatz version. Ironic or not, it becomes wearing after several pages. Nevertheless, the close-to-the-bone novel captures perfectly the intensely solipsistic nature of a certain type of author—one who arrogantly lauds the importance of his craft over others, yet ultimately favors public adoration over creative endeavor. But a clever and surprising twist fails to rescue what is often a tiresome read.

A flawed tale, despite some cutting observations of the writerly demeanor. 

Originally posted by Kirkus Reviews June 21, 2017


Review: Boys

3.5/5 - This anthology, which is overall fairly compact, features two short stories and one longer.

The author does a nice job of crafting a well defined sense of place (mostly Texas) and carving out believable, relatable male characters, which populate the stories.

The main piece is about two young guys who develop a close friendship whilst trying to break the cycle of working in a restaurant, solely for tips. I was hoping for a clearer outcome at the end but the time with the characters feels well spent.

The book is an unusual size, more akin to a small graphic novel (A5), than the usual standard or maxi paperback formats - but the upside is that it's particularly thin, making it easier to throw in a bag than a bulky paperback.⠀

Short stories aren't always my favourite form, so I'm looking forward to reading the next one, which is a longer piece.

Originally posted by Pete Goold May 10, 2017

If you found my blogs, stories, cartoons, or other articles on my website useful or entertaining, then please visit my Books page and check out my novels as well as my comic strip compilation and my collection of short stories and cartoons. They are all available in eBook, paperback, and hardcover formats. For a pittance, you can purchase something great to read while supporting a writer with a large family and lots of mouths to feed. Thanks for your support, Scott.