After the holidays passed, I decided to treat myself with a gift. I had a cool hundy burning a hole in my pocket and a dire need for a gadget to stream Netflix in my new pad. I had previously used a Wii to stream Netflix. It worked pretty good. But I wanted to stream in HD, something the Wii couldn’t do. Plus, a new Wii would cost $199 and I didn’t want to spend more than $100. After some research, I set my sights on a Roku XD. Amazon was out of stock but roku.com had it on sale for $69. The deal was done; the Roku XD was ordered. I was happy.

The following Monday afternoon, I received an email stating that “my product had shipped via USPS” and that it would take “3-7 business days” to arrive. They provided me with a tracking number which I immediately tracked on usps.com. Unfortunately, they said there was no record of the item but “event information may not be available if your item was mailed recently.” Well, that’s cool. Roku.com echoed the same info by stating “Please note: although your order has been shipped, USPS may not show any information on your order for up to 24 hours.” OK, I’ll check tomorrow. Geez, can’t a guy be excited about his Christmas present?

The next afternoon, I tracked my present again and got the same response from usps.com, “there is no record of this item.” Ummm. I decided to call Roku. Their phone system was a labyrinth of options that lead me to an announcement that they had online chat support. I quickly hung up and jumped online with their chat support staff. After a brief summation of my problem, the support dude responded, “Yep, the post office doesn’t have record of that tracking number. I’ll escalate this issue and you should hear back from us in 24 hours.” Uh, all right. I’ll wait another day, buddy. Aargh.

The next day, I received the following email from their support staff:

Dear Scott,

Thank you for contacting ROKU Customer Service.My Name is Sunil and I will be helping you with your query.

We apologize for the inconvenience and delay in responding to your valuable query.

I suggest you to contact USPS , check with them and get back to us.

Please feel free to email us for further queries.

Thank you for providing us with an opportunity to assist you and thank you for choosing ROKU.

Best Regards,

Sunil

Roku Customer Service.

Let me get this straight? You want ME to figure this problem out? I responded, “How am I going to check with them if the tracking number you gave me is invalid?” I did not receive a response from Sunil. Figures.

The next day, still without a Christmas present in sight, I received the following email from Roku Customer Support:

Dear Scott,

From your email,I understand that you are unable to track your package.

We have escalated this case to the concerned department.

I would like to inform you that we will expedite your shipment.

Please reply us back in case of any more queries.

Regards,

Susan

Roku customer service.

What the...?!? The concerned department? What is that?! They are going to expedite my shipment? I thought they already shipped it? I responded, in kind:

This has seriously been the worst support for a product I've purchased EVER! Your "concerned department?" REALLY? I sure hope that if and when my Roku XD shows up (I still don't know since you haven't helped at all in that department) that it works better than the support you have given me.

Thanks for nothing. Hopefully it will arrive today...

Scott

Has it arrived yet? Nope. Is there a moral to this disaster? Nope. Is there a point I’m trying to make? Yes. I’m pissed. Having worked in support positions before, I know exactly what is going on here. This company has outsourced and propped up the absolute minimum support possible only because they know “customers” will contact them for “some reason.” But they have my money now. It was immediately sucked out of my account the minute I pressed the “Submit Order” button along with my Christmas giddiness and my cool, crisp hundy. I’m glad my case has been escalated to their “Concerned Department.” I’m sure some magical creature at Roku headquarters is conjuring a spell that will destroy the postal service and leave rubble and smoldering shipments in its wake and plop my package daintily on my door step, sparkling with the fairy dust and the promise of HD movies streaming to my lonely TV. Yeah right. Again, thanks for nothing.

Don’t worry, Susan and Sunil. I have escalated your case and thoughtful responses to my “Fuck You Department.” You will be hearing from me within the next 24 hours. Thanks for your concern.

Best regards,

Scott

p.s. Eat shit.

Update

After three weeks, I finally received a Roku XD from Roku Inc. via FedEx. With no initiative from Roku Inc. or their "stellar" support staff, I had to badger them mercilessly to finally get a customer support staff member kind enough to understand my frustration and send me another box. And I'm glad he did. I have to say, even with this horrid customer support experience, that the Roku XD is awesome! It is, hands down, the best product I've used with Netflix. Moral: order your Roku XD from Amazon. You will be glad you did. But Roku Customer Support, I'm still sending you to my “Fuck You Department.” You deserve it.

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